Weddings and perfection

Posted: March 10, 2011 in Bride, Groom, Marriage, Wedding

With 3 weddings coming up next month I’ve been pondering the whole wedding phenomenon a little.

Mainly the cost and effort that goes into preparing for a wedding. But I don’t mean the “mark-ups” made by venues, the crazy amount you pay for flowers and the insane amount of money spent on a white dress you will never, ever wear again.

I do want to put on the record here that I’m pro-marriage and pro-wedding. I love going to weddings. I tear up when two people have the courage to admit they want to give “forever” a shot. And I believe that forever is achievable for some. And I love dancing at weddings. They always play the songs I like dancing to, and generally I’m not the worst dancer!

But.

I’m intrigued by the re-shaping that often comes before a wedding. Women will lose that 10kgs they have, until then, found impossible to shift, usually paying a personal trainer to help achieve the goal. They’ll go to the dermatologist to fix their skin. I know of a groom who had his teeth fixed.

I know why they do it – they want to look perfect on THEIR BIG DAY.

Perfect for who? For the partner who has loved them with all their flaws and imperfections? For the person who saw them across a crowded room and felt such an attraction they overcame nerves and fears to approach them? For the lover they lie next to each night? For the friend who has seen them at their ugly, screaming, irrational worst (because if you haven’t had a proper fight, you’re not ready to get married).

Surely one of the glorious, magical things about standing next to someone, in front of a significant number of people important to you both is that you want to say, for the official record, that despite the flaws and imperfectiosn you both have (inside and out), you’re in this for the long haul, aware that it won’t always be easy, but that love will overcome everything.

So why spend so much money hiding or removing your imperfections for your wedding day? Your chosen one knows them. And loves you anyway. I say keep them and be proud that you are loved, as a human. Something we all deserve and should cherish.

Where I live

Posted: March 8, 2011 in Darlinghurst, Woolloomooloo

I live in an ambiguous location. Ambiguous for a number of reasons. First the suburb. My real estate advertised it as Potts Point (and that’s the suburb I tell my father!). I tell cabs it’s Woolloomooloo (or they won’t drive me home on a Saturday night). To my friends it’s Kings Cross. To one particularly conservative friend it’s “piss can alley”.

Second for the residents.  And this is the main reason I love it. I love that I can pull out of my driveway and drive past Russell Crowe then dodge the homeless man who’s had a bit much at 9am. I love that after seeing an amazing band on Oxford Street I can wander down Crown Street, wave to the hookers, head up William St passed Royalty Prussia  and dodge the KRA van.  I love that I can walk past a man who oozes wealth, confidence and good looks and think “sleaze” from his lusty glance, yet feel delight when the guy sitting on his mattress in the middle of the park shouts “love, you’re beautiful – wanna join me in my comfy bed here?  it’s warm and cosy and I’d give you a hug!”

I think it’s good to be reminded that you’re not the worst off not the best. I love being reminded that money changes hands in the strangest ways and that integrity has a moveable definition depending on your circumstances.

And I love that it takes all types to make the world go round.  Scratch the surface and we’re all just trying to find a connection in a way that makes us feel more present and necessary in this world.